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The Care and Feeding of Your New Pet Drow!

Thank you for shopping at the Underdark Exotic Pet Store! Remember- mind flayers, drow, svirfneblin, deurgar, aboleths; whatever you fancy, we have it!

Your drow may start out small –common sizes range from three to five inches- but soon it will grow up to a ten inches tall!  Remember that your drow needs space, so keep it in a proper sized cage.

Your new drow and you!
Your relationship with your new drow will start as soon as you see that special one in the pet store window, but by now you should have brought him –or her- home.  Carefully remove your new drow from the carrying case by lifting him or her out by the scruff of the neck with your fingers.  Gloves are advised, as your new drow will likely be disoriented and may react with violence and/or darts, knives, scimitars, short swords, polearms, longswords, and snake whips.  If your drow does try to attack you, shake it gently while uttering a calm reprimand.  The drow are an intelligent race, and they will likely hold a centuries long grudge against you for doing this- but no worries, because they already hate all non-drow races!  Now place your drow in his pre-prepared home, which should be spacious enough to accommodate him.  Preferably, the cage should be several square feet, and layered with false rocks, which can be purchased from our store.  Your drow should receive a name within the first few days of arriving; as it will be easier for them to recognize it.  They will eventually learn to come at command, and it is possible for trainers to teach them complex tricks, such as skilled fighting on command or making toast.

Let your new drow adjust!
Your new drow will need to take in his surroundings, so let him explore the rock crevices until he finds a small space to call his own and settles down.  Now you should set down his food and water- not too close to his little nook, but not all the way across the cage.  Let the drow ‘discover’ the sustenance- it gives them a feeling of accomplishment.  Now you should remove your drow from the cage and let him adjust to you.  First, remove all of his weapons, then let him sit in your hand for a while.
Note: If you have bought a drow priestess or sorcerer (only sold to advanced trainers and breeders) then you should take appropriate precautions to shield yourself from spells.
Remember, your drow is a crafty fellow, and will likely try to escape.  A drow can disappear in your home in the blink of an eye, and if you don’t find it quickly, it won’t be long before household animals become sacrifices to Lloth, and a small colony will group under your kitchen sink.  

The drow around your home!
A good way to make your drow more comfortable is to attach a small collar and leash and lead it around your house to explore.  Do not be alarmed if your drow tries to escape and curses you.  This is normal behavior for a drow in captivity.  Do not allow your drow around anything pointy, hot, cold, anything involving magic, firearms, anything dull, sharp, or with an edge, fireworks, explosives, stoves, anything furry, anything with hooves or paws, glass, alcohol, drugs, spiders, or mind-logic games.  Also, never expose your drow to coffee, tea, soda or anything caffeine related.

Drow are a social species, needing others of their race to play and scheme with, torment, oppress, and kill.  Be sure you learn about the drow hierarchy before introducing more into the same environment.  A good group of drow includes one female for every two males.  Don’t worry if you see torture or blood, this is normal drow interaction! When you buy a drow, remember that they will usually pine without other drow around.  This is not always the case; a drow that shuns the companionship of others should be kept in a separate cage.

Disciplining your drow
Drow are intelligent creatures that are quite capable of distinguishing the difference between right and wrong.  A spray bottle is a handy tool in disciplining your drow.  When he does something your don’t want –biting, talking with his mouth full, or using a needle to affix rodent an insect heads around his cage- spray him with the bottle and firmly say ‘no’.  Your drow will quickly learn that if he is to stop this humiliating treatment, he will have to kill you in your sleep. This is why it is important to make sure the cage is shut tightly.

Your drow’s needs!
Your new drow is a unique creature.  First, make sure that his cage is kept in a dark area, away from direct sunlight, which can lead to mental and even bodily harm.  The cage needs to be kept moist.  Also, it is a good idea to keep some toys in your drow’s cage- good examples are young moon elves or shrines to Lloth.  Also, it is suggested that you do not feed your drow after midnight, as it can lead to indigestion.

Have fun with your new drow and follow these instructions well.  If you treat your drow right, your relationship will blossom and grow!

At Underdark Exotic Pet Store, all our creatures are grown wild in the expanses of the Underdark and some areas of the Forgotten Realms.  They are then hand- harvested singly and chosen as the most excellent representatives of their race available in today’s market.

The Care and Feeding of Your New Drow!

Brought on by boredom. The drow in this are small miniature versions of real drow. I want one...:(

Drow, the Underdark, Lloth, and Forgotten Realms are all (c) Wizards of the Coast.
Add a Comment:
MorganDonovan Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2015
Ok, this is sick, twisted, and wrong...and funny as heck!
Kittandragon Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Can I get a Drizzt pet? LOL!
Siolan Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2014
:D :D :D!!!
cloudwing12 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm getting 10.
Yasmir Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2013  Student General Artist that's what happens to my cat. Lol, jk. Awsome work! :)
immasweetslovinggirl Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
this needs to be a story now...
Kim-Uzumaki Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013
Does being a woman and a feminist help when buying fmale drow? Because I just bought 5 and I will buy males after they are ok with me. XD
GaleTheChocobo Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2013  Hobbyist
...And now I'm curious as to what a Drow would be like on caffeine. o.O
fanglish Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Epic indeed.
dA-ShadowRanger-dA Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
May I just say...Epic! :D
Traihexalon Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think I found a new buiness venture/ hobby for my not-quite-good-guy DnD wizard.
bretonchick Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2012  Student Photographer
"Your drow will quickly learn that if he is to stop this humiliating treatment, he will have to kill you in your sleep." I laughed so hard at this xD
Circe3173 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2012
I want a male! >.<
DieRomantic928 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2012  Student Photographer
Ok, this is really cute. XD
VampireMint Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012
I would LOVE a male drow! THIS IS HILARIOUS! Boredom=Funny creativeness involving dark elves and other creatures of fey.
SupremacyRain Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2012  Student General Artist
Shocking! It made me laugh really hard!
elf1lover Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
BobMorane1712 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Great. I had much fun reading it.
Cheshire-Shadow Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
I would get a few, except there are few places in the house that are sufficiently dark. Oh, well; I could always cover the cage with a big, black sheet while I'm not home or something to that effect.

By the way, what happens if you get a group of only males or only females?
jay-ultica Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
males will likely build a seemingly feral hierarchy while females will likely kill each other for power
XeonDarkfire Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2011
but what if you want have fun with her whean she is older - looks around -
almost-sane Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011
lmao too awesome
needfer Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2011
Hilarous I love it.
BaphometPanzer Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
XD Nice!
Rose-Hunter Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
godgjodillo Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2011
someone should make adoptables lol
Villinesfamily Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011  Student Artist
wow i need one of them where can i find that store
PandaProjectile Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2011  Student General Artist
This slightly offended me *plays as a Drow* >.>
Funny though but my character was rather mad and started going mindless the second I read the name "Lolth" >.>
yoru-magi Featured By Owner Jun 21, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This made me laugh so hard. I love the 'Disciplining' section.
TheShadowDragoness Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha, i can imagin me getting a little drow priestess,
me "awww your so cute and little, and adorible ...bla bla bla"
later that night i get in bed, go to sleep and diddnt realize the cage was open,
the next morning im smaller than her and shes keeping me as a pet...
hmmm mabey i shouldnt get a priestess...:hmm:
IceHeartAlchemist Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Now I want a pet drow!
Josha1407 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2011
nightlydemon Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2011
That's so mean! T.T Illith ran away and now Ican't find her! I think that pet store picked her up and sold her to someone else!
angoukohaku Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
FAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh gawd! ahahahaha! I can't stop laughing
fruhest Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Pet drow??! :@
Jathal Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2011
this is AWESOME! all i want to do now is grab my pencil and draw the part about the spray bottle![link]
tzigany Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2010  Student General Artist
Now I want to caffeinate a drow. Badly.

I can imagine a colony of them under the kitchen sink...
Sundrew Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2010
haha, that's awesome :XD: :clap:

NapoldeInLove Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2010
... This brings me back, man... brings me back to the good old days of care-and-feeding guides...
SanaPet Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Would you care if I made a flash game of this for my programming class? Pwetty pwease?
PoweredByCokeZero Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2010  Student Digital Artist
xD Now I REALLY want one.
animorph4ever Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2010   Photographer
This is the most amazing pet care guide I have ever read. I want a pet drow now. Awesomeness.
SanaPet Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Ohh! Coolness. -goes to see if you've any other instructions from the Underdark Exotic Pet Store-
Evertide Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2010   Writer
Do you get a refund if it succeeds in murdering you?
06tmason Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2010  Student Photographer
damn i want one now. :tears: :giggle:
Dinnin-Darkheart Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010
Man, where can I get one?
Shiovra Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this was great.
revengepending1 Featured By Owner May 31, 2010
lol. this is soo funny. drow rule. plz make some more. ps, i whould totally shop there lol
KiwiBliss Featured By Owner May 17, 2010
This was absolutely hilarious. Thank you for the fantastic laugh.
mourningsympthony Featured By Owner May 2, 2010
I want one, where is this stores location? Mothers day is coming up and I know my mom above anything would love a Llolth cleric, what better catfoo- erm companion?
Add a Comment:

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